Faceless .........

She stood by the mirror looking at herself. She touched her face. She looked beautiful. Her face radiated under the fluorescent glow of the mechanical light. Her eyes inhibited no fear, perhaps because the fear was lost in the realms of so many human emotions that there were no fears. Her eyes looked beautiful beyond those realms …… for human emotions cannot touch a vacuum. Vacuum is sanctimonious; they are not to be touched. She lifted her face slowly without any effort like it was a leaf borne out of the wind …. moving from place to place with the alacrity of a vicious current.

She was lost in her books for so long she didn’t remember. She did not remember the time today. Time didn’t matter. She had kept her receiver down. She hadn’t heard the phone ring today. She owned her ….. she owned it atleast for today. That’s all that she had hoped to earn and it was hers. Nobody could take it away ……. No body simply could……….

It was evening when she finally got up. The sun had gone down and the brightness of the moon had yet not struck. There was still light in the air against the sluggish moving cloud. Vagabond. She thought of them as stupid just like herself. They had no direction. No sense but still they were moving. They had no purpose. Ridiculous she thought. How can something exists without their being; without knowing their own existence, their own purpose. The thought seemed to tire her for no necessary reasons. Reason, for they were not sufficient, they never were. As she moved to wash her face she looked herself in the mirror again. She saw somebody else. She had seen somebody else before as well. She looked closely as if she was reading a manuscript and was trying to fathom out the abyss. She didn’t look herself. She didn’t know how she looked. She had never known since the day that someone had looked in her eyes. She didn’t remember his face. She didn’t remember his existence ….. she remembered his eyes. There were no feeling today for she had lost all sense of feeling that there could be.

She looked at herself again. She found malice and unsightliness. She couldn’t bare to look at herself anymore for it was not her that she saw. She faintly remembered. The phone had not rung today. Nobody came …. There was no demand, the demand of hers for some means of living. Nobody had touched her today but she could still feel ……. all those touches which were like screaming howls of ugly pigeons being brutalized, being tortured for nothing but for the material means of existence ……………. She hurried to take a bath