the iciness of thin air
hangs over the eaves; and
grey edges of the walled mirror
smiles unrevealingly;
and ...
the gaze of unredeemed
grips my whole body
made of flesh ...
or is it hollowed skin
wrapped around assembled bones
gathered through centuries;
there ...
over the window sills
where silvery moon shines
outside this vacant ….
dull ….. dreary …
oppressively soundless room
where silence .....
quietly ..... silently .....
proposes an unruffled gloom;
15 comments:
..love that melancholic strain deftly interwoven with notes of nature.. the gloom has it's own addiction.
the last few lines are amazing ..
in silence we hear our soul.
Very nice poem!
silence can be noisy...
Keshi.
To me in silence I live with my dreams.
'...wrapped around assembled bones
gathered through centuries;' - awesome lines Alok!
Gloom has its own appeal at times; melancholic and haunting especially under a moon. Excellent Alok.
I'm in the room right now....
darwazey ke kinarey rakhee khidakee ke kuch udhrey udhrey se koney,
bayaan kuch sadiyan aawazon mein kiya kartey hain,
taqdeer ke pallu ko bhi phaadaa hai humney hokar beparwah,
tanhaa udasiyon se hamarey yaraney badey huaa kartey hain.
smiles unrevealingly - pulls me right in. Atmospheric.
Its glooming here too… the last lines are nice.
In silence do we see gloom???Might be...In silence we also see peace...Very nice poem...
this is one of my favourites of yours. it's beautiful and haunting.
Aria: thanx a lot ... i totally agree wid ya ... gloom has it own addiction .. it as much a part of me as everything else .. often I love playing with it as I do with other stuffs :)
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Siva: and the sounds of that unknown :) thanx bro
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lynda: thanx a lot for dropping by .. welcome
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Keshi: bang on ... indeed so ... thnx mate
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Pria: I love ur profile pic ... yes dreams ... fulfilled or otherwise ... thnx a lot
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Janice: thanx so much for such encouragement ... much appreciated ...
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Andrew: thats such a fantastic thing to say .... thanks a lot
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Casper: Wah! wah! enjoyed reading it .... thnx bro
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Julie: thanx a lot ... tht line required the most effort in search of something to go with grey metal frame of the mirror :)
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Jeevan: I wish u all the light though:( thnx my friend
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Jeeves: thanx a lot .... silence was to describe the ambience, not necessarily used as a neccesary condition to gloom ... tht was more of a mental state :) ... in silence u do find peace too .... but honestly speaking I would like sound to come through once I come back frm work and not look at blank walls everyday :)
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Vesper: bows ... thanx u ... means a lot
Thank you everyone ... truly appreciated ...
Alok
LOVE it!
I think it would make an excellent lament for the bagpipes :-D
Miladysa: Thanks so much ... u think so :))
Alok
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