The shuddering of my heart
When I breathe.
I can feel,
A veil of fear passing through my face
Slowly …
So slowly as if breathtakingly.
I can feel,
A voice from within
Which comes out crying loud
Aye! So loud …
As if the man beside me can hear him
I try to shut him up,
But so adamant is he
He kicks my plea out of the ground
And cries more loudly.
He cries ….
I cannot stay with you any more
For you are incomplete
For you are impotent
I cannot laugh with you any more
Cannot play with you anymore
I can only cry and cry with you,
On this treacherous bed of yours
No, no I cannot stay with you any more.
I try to disassociate myself –
From my foes turned friends –
The trembling hand
The overflowing pessimism
I beckon my friends
Those who are trying to run away
I call them long,
I call them hard,
I make an extra effort,
But why will they look back
I am lying on this treacherous bed,
Being Just crippled …..
- Being Just Crippled (March16, 1996)
12 comments:
Today is my knee surgery's anniversary that almost threatened to leave me crippled ... I wrote this on my hospital bed and as u can see from the date ... it is quite dated :)
Alok
knee surgery's anniversary ????
are you following up the trend of Archie's to celebrate different kind of days...??
well, then when is get well soon day?? :)
Very deep Alok1
"I can feel,
A veil of fear passing through my face
Slowly …
So slowly as if breathtakingly."
Beautifully descriptive!
Powerful imagery Alok. It's so interesting that sometimes pain, fear depression etc can produce some of our best writing. Excellent!
Still not forget the day and the poem, feel how so powerful your memories are. Its history poem :)
very powerful alok
i am glad that your fears were not realised
Jyoti: Ohh yes I do remember most of the dates when something has happened in my life that has changed the course of it .. and I actually do celebrate all of them .. although just by treating myself alone :) I am quite well now .. thanx
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Miladysa: ohh thanx so much .... you know one of the saddest thing to me is that most of my earlier craps that I used to write in school days are lost .. I have managed to preserve only one diary that has got few of my school writings ... they remind me of a totally different alok and I enjoy visiting him sometimes :)
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Janice: So true Janice ... surprisingly pain carves out memories that somehow manages to out do time itself ... thanks so much
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Jeevan: thnx mate .. history never spares ones .. does it :)
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Floots: thanks u ... oh!! yes ... indeed a relief .... I was so damn scared at tht time though :)
Alok
U scared me when u said knee surgery. Its been years and still the memories haunt isn´t it.
Your words were so powerful even from the bed.
It reminded me of certain days that passed soundlessly but could never vanish as they remain engraved in my memory .. the only difference is .. you've given them eloquent words..
can feel,
A voice from within
Which comes out crying loud
Aye! So loud …
As if the man beside me can hear him...
awsoem and awe rendering....:)
Awesome!
I agree with Janice.
Hope you are perfectly alright at present. Take good care. God Bless.
Priya: Actually they dont haunt ... they have taught me somethings tht I wouldnt have experienced otherwise ... see i still believe in whatever happens is for good .. thanx mate
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Aria: U have put it so brilliantly ... I am thralled ...thanx
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Indrajit: Thanx buddy
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Venus: Thanx Mate
Thanks all
Alok
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