Adieu boss ...

The following is the mail written to my ex-boss on his last day in office ......
___________________________________________________________________
Dear Satish,

Today being the last day for you in the organisation, I write this with a heavy heart of not seeing u again (in office) when I am back in Mumbai.

I sincerely hope and wish you do very well in all that you strive to do in future. I hope to see all your dreams come true.

I haven't told you enough but I should have, of you having been a great boss. I have enjoyed working with you for a number of reasons and above all of them for the sheer matter of fact that u r one of the nicest human being I have known and also for the sheer independence and support that you have provided me with over the last 18 months.

On my part I know I have been difficult at times and my sincere apologies for all the times when I have caused pain.

The greatest thing about you Satish, is you have taught me to survive. I remember when I had joined newly I was completely at loss of what was happening all around. I found you over the time non-pretentitious and letting me gain the foothold on my own. U don't realise how much that has influenced my professional life. I will always be grateful to you for that. (Your constant stress on "you should stand on your own two feet" still reverberates and is an inspiration).

I remember fondly of all my constant phrasing of "Satish, I need to speak to you for 10 minutes" and all the crap that I had to say for the next hour and half and how you listened with patience without judgement. I am grateful for giving me your time and being there when ever I wanted to speak to you.

And then there were several things that you did (and I am sure you wouldn't have even noticed that) which has made me learn all about team spirit, working professionally, to be precise and objective in work and always strive for excellence and not settle with mediocrity. Your constant endeavor to change the comments, the style of presentations etc had first taken a little resistance from me for its necessity and obscurity but I soon realised how important those suggestions were and I have tried to incorporate all of them in any further work that I did.

I will miss you Satish both as a colleague and as a person. It has been a roller coaster learning ride with you and this time I will say both personally and professionally and today when I look back I have enjoyed every moment and bit of it. THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING.

With warm regards to you and your family
Alok

PS: Pls stay in touch .....u hv my personal no. and my personal e-mail id is alok.jha28@gmail.com

___________________________________________________________________
The following is what he wrote as his farewell message ....


Hi
It is exactly 6 years 7 months today that I started my journey with this phenomenal team, and as I use this email ID one last time I’m filled with reminiscence, of pride, of gratitude and of unadulterated affection.

In many ways these years have been more than exciting for me. I became part of a large family, I made friends with some incredibly warm people, been a close witness to exemplary leadership, and seen an organization grow from half a floor in BKC to this juggernaut.

I would like to use this melancholic moment to thank each one of you remarkable people who have partnered, supported and endeared me through this journey. It is difficult to name any individuals because when you work with such an invigorating team you don’t just remember people, you remember moments.

Its tough parting ways but all good things in life do come to an end. It is with a very heavy heart that I say Goodbye. I thank you again for being such wonderful people to share my work life with, and I move on with a lot of respect for all of you and a lot of friends for life, and would be honoured to stay in touch.

Best Regards
Satishwar

All for the sake of listening

Shall whom we listen to -
when thou all are busy
talking a little
and talking some more;
Hear me here
He cries over there
to be heard more
in herds everywhere;

With a little empathy
and no sympathy
He listens and listens
for he talks no more;
No more babbling
No further rambling
lesser and lesser both of them talk,
They listen and listen
and they listen for ever ......
for hear can they no more.

A lost world

Have u looked at the sky
And its not blue
Sky a purple sky a green
Sky so vast but its not blue
Pelting stones and laughing stock
Crying cheap
Hurling spleen
Not preen and pomp
And a condescending mind
So much -
Of a world unknown to the known .........
-Schizophrenia

Kalam is willing

Well well well what do we have here ...... One day after I write Kalam will be remembered as the best Indian President India ever had ...... he make us realise he is the same mortal that we are.
Dr. Kalam is ready for a second term if there is a "certainty". Well the word is open to all kind of interpretation. Some might interpret it as he is willing for a second term if there is political concensus but my reading of it is he is keen for a second term given it can be assured to him that he is certain to win (forget about being a consensus candidate).

I have nothing more to add .....

Here she comes - Madam President

The Prime Minister and UPA chairperson have signed the papers of Ms Pratibha Patil confirming her nomination for the Presidential elections. In the meanwhile Bhairon Singh Sekhawat has graciously announced his intention to back out as an independent candidate after Rajnath Singh of BJP supported the idea for a second term for the incumbent president Dr. Kalam.

I have been reading lots of views supporting Dr. Kalam and how Ms Patil's nomination allegedly reflects the bonanza for loyalty to the Nehru - Gandhi family. Well my view is completely different from the overwhelming response that the subject has attracted.

We all understand how Indian polity works. For the purpose of this article I would like to emphasize that Indian elections are party based elections unlike say USA which has a presidential form of elections. This means that the public chooses a party to represent them in the government and the party decides the leader of the members in parliament. The ‘leader of the Parliament’ is the Prime Minister who is the CEO of the government. He runs the country. So where does the President fit into this overall scheme of things and why is he called the “Head of the State”.

It so happened, India could not contend itself from being totally indifferent to the British legacy that it so drastically wanted to be oblivion to. So the constitution has a place for a ceremonial entity (in the realms of the monarchy of England but chosen by the electorate college comprising of elected MPs and MLAs) who has been given sexy names like ‘head of state’, ‘first citizen of India’, ‘upholder of the constitution’ and ‘supreme commander of the armed forces’ but with practically no executive power. President of India in past were indeed a ceremonial figure who were dressed properly for all occasions, acted as gracious host for other heads of state and nodded to all decisions taken by the CEO, never ever questioning them.

In my humble personal opinion it was K.R.Narayan who put on the hat of a thinking president for the first time. He moved away from the precedent of following precedents. Constitutional experts would argue that Mr. Narayan was not holding the constitutional spirit by assuming the thinking cap. But come to think of it …… In modern day Indian politics, often dictated by irresponsible smaller regional parties who hold the entire nation to ransom to fulfill their political needs, don’t me need a ‘real president’ who can rein in these selfish wishes. K.R. Narayan set a precedent of not being a rubber stamp. So active was he as a president that BJP decided to nominate Dr. Kalam, a non-political entity to the post of president for the next term hoping to return to the era of ceremonial presidents. I still remember the press conference that Dr. Kalam had after being nominated for the post of presidency and I was disappointed. He seemed to tow to the government’s line like a parrot. But utterly – butterly surprised I was at the unexpected brilliancy he reflected as the ‘people’s president’ during his tenure. No wonder he not only wore the thinking hat that Mr. Narayan had left over at Rastrapati Bhavan but went beyond that in establishing a connect with the people of India that no other president had done before. Dr. Kalam’s tenure might go down into history as one of the best presidential regime India has ever witnessed and he has set the bar even higher than what Mr. Narayan had set before him.

The same party who had nominated Dr. Kalam was not willing for a second term for him in the beginning. He himself had ruled himself out if there was no consensus amongst the political parties across the spectrum. And as the ruling UPA government fiddled with names with strong filtering by the Left, they were left with no option but to select a name whom the Left will have no objection to. With Pratibha Patil, the Congress struck chord with the Left and it was quiet obvious for the NDA that there was no hope for Mr. Bhairav Singh Sekhwat’s run as an independent candidate backed by NDA. So it ridiculously has started suggesting Dr. Kalam’s name for a second term.

Lets accept that the way elections of Indian president happens with the ruling party having an upper hand in deciding the president it will always be a choice of who can paddle along with their decision. NDAs intention of nominating Dr. Kalam was also was same reason given that he had served as National Security Advisor in Vajpayee’s government. Thus to me all the cries and hullabaloos about Ms Patil nomination as a puppet to Sonia Gandhi’s wishes is ridiculous. All parties who now and in future would nominate people who they believe can be their puppets. Whether they will or they won’t is for the history to decide.

There have been innumerable articles suggesting that Ms Gandhi is running a puppet show at the central government and now with Ms Patil’s nomination Ms Gandhi would have an unabated rule at all levels. Well if that’s so can we help it other than cribbing about it? Hell no! Well the congress party is in power, she has support of the UPA allies. She is not the Prime Minister by choice and if we disagree to the power that she wields by being the congress president, let’s throw her out in the next assembly elections but for God’s sake let not cry foul every time and for every thing.

Dr. Kalam did well and there’s no question about it. He would like to continue if there’s a consensus which with Left’s reservation against him is difficult to achieve. So let’s look forward to what’s coming to us instead of crying over split milk.

Instead of ruling out Ms Patil totally let’s sit back and look at the lady’s resume who would soon be called Madam President. She has been in public life for over three decades now. She has gone beyond the realms of politics and taken social service between her teeth as firmly as she could. She runs several institutions for education and for working women, is chairperson of a sugar factory in Jalgaon, and was institutional in setting up an industrial training centre for the blinds amongst other. Amongst the administrative roles besides the several stint as the cabinet minister in the state government, she has been the Deputy Chairman in Rajya Sabha, Chairperson - Committee of Privileges in Rajya Sabha, Member of Business Advisory Committee in Rajya Sabha, Chairman House Committee in Rajya Sabha and lately the Governor of Rajasthan.

Well if I have read enough of her she has her thinking cap on and she has all the credentials for being the President of India. I have hopes from her and I just wish my hopes are not belied. I leave you with a quote from the former president reflecting his tenure. But even if after what he felt like he could achieve what he did ...... I hope future presidents would atleast not do anything less, if not more. I am keeping my fingers crossed for the first woman President of India. I hope you do too …..

As the President of India, I had lots of experiences that were full of pain and helplessness. There were occasions when I could do nothing for people and for the nation. These experiences have pained me a lot. They have depressed me a lot. I have agonised because of the limitations of power. Power and the helplessness surrounding it are a peculiar tragedy, in fact." - K R Narayan

Tears

The veil of fear

moves over my bare chest

The heart suddenly shudders

with the unknown

The white sheet underneath

and comforting cushions beside

As the mind flickers through the rays of hope

with despair overtaking

And the long sudden watery flow of music

Fills the barren lids underneath.

A little RED

I met Sunita today. It just happened that she was the only Indian face I had seen in three months in an alien Hong Kong office. She was brewing coffee as I went in the pantry to get one for myself. I hadn’t spoken to an Indian for a while and couldn’t resist my urge to introduce myself and know a little about her.

Well we got introduced and chatted for about five minutes when we decided we needed to get back to work with a pledge to have lunch together at a nearby Indian restaurant. And we landed to this nice little place called Bombay dreams in Central Hong Kong.

She seemed to be a fine lady with strong Indian leanings. Our conversation started with how Mumbai has changed over several years now and went on to what we did, how we came to Hong Kong, our families, our likes and dislikes etc … etc….

As enough is never enough, the talks of two Indians in a foreign land would have never ended. So we went ahead to help ourselves from the buffet lunch table. I noticed she picked up all vegetarian dishes. She was from Lucknow, the city of delicious kawabs. So my obvious next question was about her food likings, surprisingly we never discussed that given the fact that we had come for lunch.

Sunita’s facial expression did not change at all when she said in a matter of fact manner that she had given up on non-vegetarian food. She couldn’t help but add that she used to love them. And the inquisitive bastard that I am, couldn’t help resist myself from asking why?

She said, “Well, I am an Indian widow and Indian widows do not have non-vegetarian food.” I was a little shocked and words failed me for sometime. All her statements came back to me, “I live with my in-laws” – the general statement is “I live with my husband”, “My father in law works at JP Morgan” – the general statement is “he work at …..” and all the small talks that we had about her family and it never occurred to me that she did not speak about her husband at all.

I felt sorry to my self when I uttered the horribly often repeated line in the world, “I am so sorry to hear that.” She obviously said it’s okay. Sunita added, “I met him at Prudential six years ago and from the very beginning we started liking each other. After four months of courtship, Anand (her husband’s name) asked me to marry him and I instantly agreed. We had a very happy and successful marriage till the day we were driving to the Stanley beach when we met with this horrible accident.” She took a morsel and slowly chewed it as if in deep thought. I didn’t have the courage to interrupt her. After having some water, she continued, “You know Alok, no one can take away from me my loss. No one will ever know what I have lost. That box of sindoor (vermilion) is still lying on my dressing table. I haven’t thrown it off. It keeps me reminding of how his loss has robbed me of all the colours in my life. It’s not food that I hate him for leaving me alone …… It’s the legacy of white that he has left behind him, makes me yearn for him. With him he has taken away my pride ….. the pride his sindoor used to give me.”

I kept mum for sometimes. Didn’t know exactly how to react to this lady’s loss. No word would be enough and I definitely didn’t want to say “I am sorry” for nothing would have sounded more meaningless than that.

Go Dollar Go ......

Indian rupees is gaining ground with each passing fortnight and I am scared. But why the hell am I scared? Isn't your national currency getting stronger against US $ not a good sign. No, no for heaven's sake. Let dollar be where it is and vice versa. But ain't I kidding myself. Is it so simple. Has it remained so simple.

Any currency gaining against US $ appreciably is never a good sign. Why? Well for the simple reason that it impacts the whole economy. And how is that. Well lets take a short example. Ruppes was trading at around 44 per dollar some three months back. Today it is trading at around 40.70. This means that companies are loosing nearly 10% of their revenue for every dollar of exports. To put it simply $100 of export three months back would have earned Rs 4400, whereas now it would earn only Rs 4070 that is a loss of around Rs 330. But does a stronger rupee doesn't mean that imports will be cheaper. And especially in a country like India with a negative trade balance (when imports are more than exports) wouldn't it benefit more. I think even that is true.

The dynamics of todays economics are not restricted to only trade balances. It has gone far beyond that. With stock market and currency market gaining prominence in the flows of foreign currency, it is no more only how much a country imports that matters. What matters is the bottom line of the companies like IT giants who drive the sentiments across. This is an industry that has typically taken Indian economics to a zooming path. With dollar weaking, the greatest impact is to the bottomline of these companies which affect the overall sentiments. Beyond the IT giants lets look at another example of small scale industries this time like the textile industry which relies heavily on exports and supports five people directly and around two people indirectly. With loss in revenue due to weakening dollar this vulnerable industry is at the peril of annihilation. Well that's not a good sign for sure.

Thats the internal dynamics. But who is driving the rupees so strong. Hey what about the FDIs. Will they invest less or more with a strong rupee sensation. Lets again take the same example of $100 in stocks of company A of Rs 10 each. Lets assume that the stock appreciated by 10% in 3 months. Well three months back the investment would have resulted in 440 shares. Three months later he would take back $119 against $110 had rupee stayed at the same level. Thus a phenomenal gain of additional 9% purely due to exchange rate fluctuation. Thus you can expect to have more FDI with stronger rupees. Does it answer my question. I think somewhat it does. Ofcourse there are hundreds of other reasons for $ weakening and Rs gaining but this piece is really not to discuss economics. Is it? Note: $ 27.3 bn of capital inflow was witnessed during the last fiscal yr (only 11 months data) of which $ 17.1 were in FDI (62%).

Thus my whole submission is that gone are the days when the trade balances decided the level of exchange rates. The dynamics has changed over the period. Besides traditional mechanisms, stock market, FII, FDI and global sentiments all plays their own sweet little part in a free market era as to which direction the currency moves. RBI has been trying and would continue to do so but as we move towards a fully convertible currency regime we can look to more heart breaks and joys. Boy! the game has just begun.

And for yours truly who has been saving that addtional dollar so that he can have his pocket full when he returns to India, well this is a sad story.

The irresistible urge

Sitting across the bar I was looking over to the lovely black lady serving drinks. She had eyes that said come to me and smile that made me want her free. I thought twice and flirted with the words a little. Nothing interesting came to my mind and I resorted to oft repeated line - “Your eyes are so beautiful.” She looked at me, sighed a little and retorted like a sweet charming snake, “Boy! you can’t tell from that distance.” And by the time I juggled and fizzled with a fresh line she blurted out, “don’t try too hard baby…. just enjoy your drink.” And I sighed in return.

Fiasco

Every time something fails we hail the failure as fiasco. Expressions speak more than word. Do something wrong and the look is “Oh! It’s a fiasco”. Com’on give me a break. If everything was a fiasco then let’s make words like ‘wrong’ ,‘failure’ and etcetera redundant. Let them not exist so that we can redefine ‘fiasco’.

Fiasco is a wrong of mythical proportion. It’s not just a wrong. Fiasco is part of legend which I can narrate to my grandchildren and with them feeling, ‘thank God, it didn’t happen to me’. Yes fiasco is something you wish didn’t happen to you. Not silly mistakes which by their nature are silly and common. Mistakes that are part of life without which life itself would be so uninterested and unexciting. Imagine a world that’s all perfect and goody - goody. Let me understand my kids made a mistake …. It wasn’t debacle. Let my parents know it was my decision that went wrong. Let my friends know that they can be in my shoes too. Let my boss know that its part of job. Let’s not create fiasco over ado. Let’s just try to being human where to err is natural and not a fiasco.

When your heart says ..... Good morning

Woke up this morning with a feeling of morning temple bells ringing through the under layers of my skin. I was greeted by a calmness that had eluded me for sometime (especially on a Sunday morning) like a peaceful slumber before a soccer world cup dream. Nervous anxiety and pensiveness had been replaced by one cry of Good Morning from within.

It had been raining here for sometime now. The sky crappers outside my window does not allow much viewing for sure like dust in the eyes, obscuring your vision, dizzy lousy sights. But the open sky was too big to be blocked. It was drizzling when I looked. The sky was black, pregnant with watery clouds, waiting impatiently and expectantly. The breathtaking Stratus Nimbus had blotted out the sun completely like a young amateur over-shadowing a professional on a golf course. Gray beautiful day. There was a sense of exuberance like a thousand waves hitting the course all at the same times. I instantly remembered William Wordsworth beautiful lines,
“I wondered lonely as a cloud,
The floats on high over the hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils;”

Its amazing how poetry takes form of water in different moods. I remember when I had first read this poem in my school it signified a longing. Today it personified beauty, the beauty of daffodils, all at once in the glory.

I somehow started humming lines penned down by Gulzar. A song that had stayed with me from my college days, “Ek ekala is sehar mein, raat mein aur dopahar mein, abodana doondhta hai, ashiyana doondhta hai, Ek akela is sehar main”. The humming went on to revisiting the song and a loud chorus with my music system. New meanings were found each time for each word, for each line and for each meter.

And as I looked on to the street, there were lesser cars on roads and even fewer people all with their umbrellas. Interestingly all of them were black as if everyone was together in their thoughts like the pearls in the necklace, clinging on together, unified. I went on to make my first coffee of the day.

Let me whisper

Let me whisper a song to you
Let me tell you how I feel,
No one, no one in-between, so …..
Let me whisper a song to you.

Let me un-loop the curls of your hair
Let me set them aside for you,
Come closer to me, and
Let me whisper a song to you.

Hold my hands as we embark
Don’t shy beneath those purple lines,
Close your eyes and
Let me whisper a song to you.

Journey of a Pen

Some letters and few words

Woven in gossamer sheath

Of pilfered dreams and little hopes

Cheering star and panoramic moon

Of green pastures and blowing winds

Of sighs, heaves and yearnings;

Bearing young and parturition

Strong wills and arrogance

Of grey and mature

Of death and burial

Epitaph and succession

Of un-intending memory and recollections.

A sheet of faith and white linen

Of prayers, pleads and strengths

Of empty glass sometimes full

Of ripples, beds and greed’s

A voice and song from unsung lyrics

Of imagination ignis fatuus;

Illusions and disbelief

Of coffee and cream

Religion, caste and creed

Of revolts and unity

Of peace and harmony

Of movements and beliefs.

Through waters and legends

And rains and misery

From will- o- wisp and broken hearts

From white frocks and a pair of jeans

Muddy waters and showering spring

Through green and smiles

And summer and joy

And fallen yellow leaves

Of winters and cold

Of blood and red

Of life and journey

And hammer and sledge.

Feeling Tired ....

Way back home from a monstrous day
I felt tired with each passing step,
as if burdened by earth
and a heavy soul;
It was nothing,
it never was for it never will be.

Impatience and ambition,
fear and anxiety,
Success un-demurred
scared was I,
Of what I never knew,
never have for never will be.

My pain and my sorrow
me and my benign self,
And as I looked aside
to an orphaned dust
to a scarred hand
to an eviscerated belly
to a lifeless being.

I felt tired no more with steps
tired ..... oh! so tired from heart,
Ashamed and repentant
of my oblivion
of my incapacity
of the selfishness
of the hopelessness.

And I walked on
feeling tired .....
indeed it is
a long .....
long way back ....
back home.

Move on ....

A minute ago

is craved in history

buried dead

epitaph

and memory;

It's difficult

difficult ....

to unravel and breathe

correct and undo

like a wind passed

unheld and chained;

I think sometimes

perhaps too hard

actions ….

deeds ….

and recollections;

Live …

live for the moment

learn …

unlearn …

for there is …

there is tomorrow.

Change of the Blog Title

Have changed the name of my blog at the insistence of one of my friends who felt the old title (Yearning) no longer suits what I write these days.

So this is for you ........

My greatest fear

My greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. My greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond immagination. It's our ignorance; not that we don't know no nothing but to what we can achieve. Beyond our fathoms of intelligence lies a world that's dark and scary. My greatest fear is underground - what we haven't done but we will.

Let us get back to the shyness of child. Shed that one drop of tear. Lets feign ignorance sometime. Shine, ..... shine beyond our glory. Look to good without relativity. Do what we need to rather than forced to. Let our knowledge liberate us and not hold us prison to ourselves.

I am there for you

When something is wrong
and the going is strong
love, i will be there for you.

When the winds of hardship
flickers the candles of hopes
When torrential rains
dampens your spirt
When hurricane waves
engulfs your passion
love, i will be there for you.

When black will turn to grey
and people immoderate
When legs will start to loathe
and hands need rest
When day will become less
and light a little difficult
love, i will be there for you.

When eveything is wrong
and the going is tough
love, i will be there for you.

I see you

Sometimes I see you,
High in the mountains
bedded with snow
in the flowing breeze
behind the lazy dawn
and bundled dew.

Sometimes I see you,
Far off in the green fields
amongst meandering stock
in the flurry of trees
behind the effulgent sun
and burnished hay.

Sometimes I see you
Distant in the hot desert
amidst burdened camel
in the meagre bushes
behind the reluctant dusk
and serene oasis.

Sometimes I see you
Outlined in the night sky
Between celestial spheres
in the gloomy gossamer
behind the flickering dark
and ephemeral pleasures.

Longing

A cup, a saucer and a guitar

unsung lyrics with lots of satire,

A little sound and some music

diengaged and believed,

A modest longing

of passion and greed.

-wishful thinking

Broken Heart

Mighty clouds on hesitant moon

Shining stars behind obscure veils

Black snakes hissing morbid fear

Scowling owls from dead tree

Broken heart and reminiscence.