Saturday December 29, 2007 is the date that this post records. Two days to go when earth will again complete its customary journey round its beloved sun. It’s surprising how someone else’s attraction, infatuation or loving journey stimulates all and every one of us in some way or the other. There wouldn’t be anyone who can claim not to have been impacted by their love story. Mine has been too.

Time (simply) flies by as seasons change their attire. And with it I too add another chapter to my life with words written in coloured pencils. Sometimes these words speak with thunder and I become aware of my somnolent senses and sometimes these words have soporific influence upon me helping me sleep with unrealised dreams .... Sometimes I erase them from pages of my indolent life and sometimes I add a few words to glorify ....

I have always believed in living life the way I want. Imitation is the best form of flattery and I somehow never wanted to flatter anyone by imitating them. When I look back at my life twenty years down the road, I hope I look back with pride for having lived it the way I wanted … for taking my own decisions …. for growing every second my own way … for living every dream that I dreamt of … for a journey that was mine, influenced by me and my circumstances .... (every year it is a persistent endeavor to realise this latent desire).

2007 had so many scenes in this artful play of life interwoven with brilliant contrasts … the contrasts that made me sit back and admire the beauty of life … contrasts that sometimes made me laugh with its facetious remarks …. contrasts that sometimes had the impact of a choir singing a complicated and elaborate psalm …. and contrasts that sometimes whacked me with its indignation. I cogitate upon the discoveries that I have made and sometimes exult with sheer joy in the prospect of a new season or in the reprisal of a winter that will surely pass away.

2007 also taught me new ways to living alone. Taught me the distinction between lonely and alone and how the way I feel is what translates into phrases that my life writes. Such a practice as keeping a smile on the face even in the light of cold, prosaic or matter of fact circumstances that time presents elevates poignant mind from the shackles of peccant Angles to the sacerdotal hymns of Vedas.

It is difficult to paint on a canvas scattered with colours that hasn't come from your own brush. For those who endeavors to build something out of it and succeeds, there is a different dawn that awaits them. Those who at least try even without succeeding, there is a different horizon that is drawn on that canvas and for those who never tried, the colours will read and behave in the same fashion and manner that the canvas dictates. Lessons learnt in managing expectations of one’s ownself and the loved ones is something that I will cherish along with the skills of saying ‘no’ the right way.

Overall as with other years, 2007 brought the same unexpected successes and failures. Neither of them have made me learn to be more excited than I am as it is with life nor have they made me learn to be disappointed and loose faith in the same magic that is called life.

Failure that awaith me
Failed me again -
Awaith the success
Success never came...

Both success and failure in its dualism never had a cognitive impact on my senses. That is perhaps why I am never overjoyed or depressed … perhaps because of the realization that both failures and successes are cyclical in their existence and come what may I can never control the results of the events. What I can do is try and I hope I continue to do that. Belief in life is different from belief in destiny. Destiny is nothing if I don’t give it a try.

Destiny … that’s not life
In every semblance of doubt that bores
A yes or perhaps a no …. But then
For every wrong, would life have made it right
Even without that one single try
Would it still be destined if I had not
Given it an honest try.

I am sure 2008 will be as uncertain and as unpredictable as all these years have been in the past. And I wish it brings with it a list of hopes that will continue to mark my being. Hope that 2008 is another chapter like all of the 26 previous ones that will help me become more aware of my own existence.

I also hope that 2008 makes you all believe in life … let you dream and promise endeavors that will help you realise those dream. Have a great year end and a fantastic new year.