I
Disorganised confetti covers the floors, turgid voices
runs with the equine speed, distances are covered
in memories and leaps with serpentine ease,
my mind serves its purpose understood, and
keeps the silence in its anacoluthon speech.
My intentions lay willingly obtuse,
undiscerning in the neon light ….
numinous structures formed and dissolved,
coloured by discriminated opinions
of a mirror, with connoisseur’s eyes.
II
The voices grates inside my mind,
what logic applies to soul, when
heart has it own path, parallel in might
but, it seldom listens and always cries
irrespective of pleasures or sadness derived.
Inner shame has no audience to understand
serves the purpose of an obloquy for a lifetime,
in the illegitimate scuffle of two sounds
I tried a couple of times, but rather failed, as if destined ...
as if burdened by my own libel, therein assigned.
III
I must hasten to collect the pieces that lie, assemble
them one-by- one, and repent if I must, to survive,
seeking forgiveness is a foregone conclusion, but I have to try ....
if required for the umpteenth time, for tugged in the summer sheath
is my absolute sin and the carcass of my conscience, that hath died.
40 comments:
wow... a lot of questions and introspection
nicely done
Lost for words, Alok
This is beauty itself, wonderful!
Best wishes
Annie
Absolutely stunning again Alok...the rhetoric, metaphors, wordplay; but more specifically the thoughts you espouse.
'My intentions lay willingly obtuse,
undiscerning in the neon light ….
numinous structures formed and dissolved,
coloured by discriminated opinions,
of a mirror, with connoisseur’s eyes.' - love this honest appraisal of oneself.
And:
'I must hasten to collect the pieces that lie, assemble
them one-by- one, and repent if I must, to survive,
seeking forgiveness is a foregone conclusion, but I have to try ....
if required for the umpteenth time, for tugged in the summer sheath
is my absolute sin and the carcass of my conscience, that hath died.'
Powerful and awesome in your complete willingness to rearrange the pieces for the puzzle that is you.
Excellent, excellent writing Alok.
I can't think of any other adjective to praise your writings. :) They cast a deepening spell. Really nice one, yet again.
"Inner shame has no audience to understand serves the purpose of an obloquy for a lifetime,
in the illegitimate scuffle of two sounds I tried a couple of times, but rather failed, as if destined ...
as if burdened by my own libel, therein assigned"
In every sense this is the truth in us all.
Wonderful...
If conscience is dead, is that good riddance? Is conscience mere nuisance? Is there need for accountability? What are we anyway?
I dont know what to say its so good haha!
how are ya?
:)
Someone is coming out of their shell and breaking the ice.
The voices grates inside my mind,
what logic applies to soul, when
heart has it own path, parallel in might
but, it seldom listens and always cries
irrespective of pleasures or sadness derived.
-
How true and its so real.
Just don't know how to describe. You are too good. Perfect. God Bless.
define sin...
Keshi.
hey alok your rocking buddy ??
koi milgayi kyaa :)
breaking the ice?? ;)
Take Care
Vikas{V}
Surely u grilling and introspecting the self.... once again leaving me zapped and confused
Well crafted!!!
Tony [laughing wolf], thank you so much ... true to wht u ty
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Annie, thank you so much for the wonderful comment
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Janice, thank you so much ... loved the way u said "puzzle that is you .... thanx a ton for reading
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Aria, u r again so kind .... thank you so much ... am really so glad ...
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Inside our hands outside our hearts, am so glad to c u here after such a long time :) thank u so much for reading
take care guys
alok
Steve [Ish], you raised very valid points ...
well conscience to me is the pronouncement of one’s moral judgment.
Morality is very individualistic and is measured by different standards and parameters. For some it is the scale on which they measure themselves, for others its obsolete in its existence ….
For the latter it doesn’t matter for it is already dead, it was indeed mere nuisance and he got rid of it … dunno whether for the good or bad for they are mired in relativity…
for the former, he measures his conduct thru his own conscience, ….. for him that is the sole criteria. …… he may have done what is “wrong” according “him” (the concept of individual responsibility and accountability) ….
Now it is a very common reasoning that ‘to err is to human’ and I dunno whether I can quantify the wrong committed by any individual, but I guess the quality to make wrong and then rectify it, is wht being human is all about … for one who cannot redeem his wrong is as dead as his deceased conscience ……
then the question arises as to how can we set things right (of the wrong that we committed) …. There are two ways according to me, set it right by undoing it but then this is not possible in most cases and the second one is to accept that u have wronged and try and repent …. And u need not repent only to God, u need to repent for ur deed, deed that u have committed knowingly or unknowingly …. The question of forgiveness when u have done wrong to somebody else can never be seeked within one’s own self, one has to seek it to the other person and it is his / her prerogative to grant forgiveness….. if forgiven after acceptance of the wrong, ur conscience has a re-birth and if not, well it’s the carcass that you have to carry on ur shoulder till the end of life …
There is need for accountability to one’s own deed if u still have the conscience (for there would arise an accountability for others) that I spoke above, otherwise it doesn’t matter … becoz forced accountability often bears no result
As to your question, “What are we anyway?” …. We are nothing in front of the nature who created us, but we are everything for people who have soul and again I come back to the same thing, people who do not have soul do not exits, though they are there around us in person ..
All said and done, Steve, nature while creating us gave us the most powerful weapon – our brain and along with it gave our conscience and left it on us as to how to use it ….
Nature is very mighty Steve, it has it’s own way of judging … we can never find out how, but atleast we need to be alive, alive the way it created us and wanted us to be …… if not, well that's an answer I still seek
take care
alok
Kaylee, thank u so much and thanx for asking ...
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Priya, thank u so much for reading
me indeed coming out of my tortoise shell:)
btw: are u alright ... or were u on a vacation ... take care buddy
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Venus, thank u so much for the lovely comment
take care
alok
Keshi you too have raised a very pertinent question …. What is indeed sin …. We often connote sin with violation of religious law, to me when I say sin, I mean it in a more personal way, violation of my moral law
Continuing from wht I said above in respect of Steve’s question, morality has individual yardstick … we all set our own standard of what is right and what is wrong.
Again this is based on what an individual has experienced in life and another what society perceives as moral …. If I can cite an example ….. To make love to a lady without her consent is a moral boundary that many of us has set, though some societies take it for granted … again many of us have pre-marital sex, though many societies considers it to be a sin …. Often morality is a combination of what an individual thinks and what a society perceives ….
Religious sin is often societal being evolved thru perceptions over the ages …. Moral sins are often individualistic in nature and has definitions as given by the individual himself, rest I guess I have explained to Steve’s question …
u guys r making me work too hard :)
Take care
alok
Vikas, Thanx buddy ... koi milgayi ... kahan yaar :)
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Nitin, thanx buddy ... am still not sure why u r confused ... lets discuss it tom
take care guys
alok
Alok, I am doing good. Was little preoccupied and thaz why peeked into blogger very little.
:) okay i am not well!
good one Alok...I like un answer alot. U did well :)
**violation of my moral law
my definition of SIN wud be the same!
Keshi.
I'm always amazed by your use of words. Brilliant!
alok, you are generous with your time and show respect to your readers by taking the points they raise seriously. I appreciate that. Thank you. You have to expect such questions if you write such thought provoking poetry!! :-)
But I wonder, can morality be called morality if it is individual and relative? And what is the point of moral behavior anyway if we are merely freaks of chance? (Mere accidents of the universe.) Doesn't it then all come down to just doing what we can get away with?
"Inner shame has no audience to understand
serves the purpose of an obloquy for a lifetime,"
The inner sin doesn't comes out so easily till we are ready to explore. well written buddy...
this is awesome.
the conscience hasnt died, it only slept for a while looks like.
liked the sensitivity of your thought.
and sorry to say i changed the psot after you commented. just added more along the same lines.
Priya, yeah didnt see u around so was just wondering .... take care
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Kaylee, read ur post, am glad u r feeling better... take care
alok
Keshi, finally the hard work paid off ...ahhh (mehnat safal hui)
:) tc
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Andrew, bows ... thnk u so much
take care
alok
Steve [Ish], Thank You, questions are always welcome coz there is nothing healthier than a healthy debate :)
Well Steve, I sincerely believe tht individual morality is far more imp than set morality .... everything (even morality) if imposed will always result in oppression which shld be the least traveled path ...
and as to the relativity, well its like the five fingers being unequal, though they r part of the same fabric ... the beauty of adjectives is its relativity and its perception and as I said since we have a mind to think, how we guide tht relativity depends totally on us
and as to ur point of creation by chance, well Steve my contention is every invention is by chance … they r hardly thgt of … brilliant creations has been matter of chance as well … but tht does not give us the right to take it the way we want …. Every invention and creation has its usage and the responsibility solely lies on the user …. We might be a creation of chance but we decide how we lead our lives and since we are the ones who are taking these decisions, we simply cannot ignore the consequences, divine intervention or otherwise our deeds will have repercussions and hence we cannot adopt a means of careless attitude towards wht we do
Thank you again:)
alok
Jeevan, inner shame (sin) is there, like a niggling pain .... when we explore them, we start realising how to undo wht we have done to create that shame ...
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Mystic Rose, indeed conscience tht can have rebirth wouldnt have died ... it must be lying in a sub conscious state ...
I read the changed post, it has simply become an amazing one now, holistic in all sense of the term
take care guys
alok
well one thing is clear that you are a brilliant writer but i liked this piece better than the others because it showed more of the inner workings of the mind...great!
alok, I am glad you like debate. If, in the end, all roads end in the same place, debate does not matter. If morality is individual. ("...right for you ... but necessarily right for me, etc...") then I can never appeal against your actions. You are a law unto yourself. I was suggesting that if we are mere biological accidents then this is the reality we must live with. We can try to deal with it politically for example, eg 'right' = 51% of the vote, but ultimately there is no right. But I see you believe in divinity. That changes the picture. Then we can have a morality based outside ourselves to which we can appeal. We can have moral common ground.
thanks:)
Gulnaz, thank you so much for ur kind words ... much appreciated ty & tc
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Steve [Ish], so we finally agree on the same point :)
morality has to be individual with respect towrads himself and others. for if we have the conscience of wht we r doing we can ensure tht we r fair in our deeds to the best of our judgement
yes politically we can correct them, but i rem reading somewhere tht "The worst thing in this world, next to anarchy, is government." (I think it was by Henry Ward Beecher), the point is government is also made of individuals and hence it is extremely imporatnt that they are also equipped with those moral basic understanding, otherwise as Charles A Beard had once said "Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad with power."
Yes we can have a moral common ground!!
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Kalyee take care
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Alok
**mehnat safal hui
plz translate :)
Keshi.
Keshi, i meant, hard work finally paid off :)
alok
superb bro...love your fine narration.
Hi Alok,
Lovely words..
Lots of mystery hidden behind.as understanding the own conscious is very difficult...
on a lighter note, its helps in strengthing my vocab..
Siva, thank u so much buddy ...
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Mona, thanx mate ... it is indeed very complex ... the concept of sin, morality and conscience .. thank u so much for reading
and i cant believe my post can add to ur vocab :) honoured ty
take care guys
alok
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